Black Blood

A surging rush of thoughts unsought
And they clog my brain
Daunt my rationality
And I keep lost in the blood of those thoughts
Black blood, as black as my tears
And I can't keep calm
And I need to breathe
I gasp for breath and
My eyes widen in agony
The pillowcase is wet and so is my face
And the rush goes on and I cant stop it
I shriek and I shout but my voice keeps silent
Ridiculing myself and all my curses
And my eyes close down to stop the flow
But all I see is cold white
Chilling with fear and condescension
Of myself and all my darks
And the white suddenly breaks
with the black of my blood
My black fears, my black tears
And I swing up again to catch some air
Feeling like I'm running out of dear life
And all my breath tends to nil.
But I gasp for more and borrow time
I'm just living on borrowed time
And this dark will end with the yellow light
But I doubt if I'll see it anymore
And I hope and I guess I'll make through this one
To hold my dears once more
To apologize for not being enough
Not as expected
And then if my tears blacken again,
I'll remove my mask
I'll jump in the void and fall, to the abyss
And hope my black blood dries in time.