Amma

(Hindi: Mother)

I see you in your wrinkled smiles,

While you sit in your chair,

Resting your arms like you do

Telling me all about your cherished years.

I hear you laugh on my deliberate mistakes,

Your eyes roll on my foolish kiddings,

Your voice startled seeing me cry.

You take pride in me and I am glad

And your food tastes like nostalgia.

There's a picture- me in your arms

And your smile, unwrinkled yet, calming me down,

A memory that shivers me,

For pictures and memories are all that I have left of you

And I still refuse that I'll hear no more

From you, none of your anecdotes, your recipes, no reprimands, none of your love.

A day you called me close and told me,

I was your child, your pride, your life

That you'll never leave me alone,

That you'll follow wherever I go.

But hours later, your eyes roll for the last time and don't come back to normal

And there is nothing I can do

Besides shrieking your name, Amma.

And I lose all faith and fall to the ground

For that couldn't hold true.

I sit in your chair,

And rest my arms like you used to,

And pen down my tears,

One of which falls on this paper and searches for your scent.

And I miss you and I need you to calm me down,

For one last time and wake me up from this

Nightmare called life, without you.